


Eat Your Heart Out, Boys

by mythras_fire



Series: Friday Night Chats Plot-Bunny Factory [1]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Fluff and Humor, Innuendo, M/M, Michael is a Little Shit, One Shot, S1E3 Fix-it, Sassy Alex, art imitating life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-04 10:15:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17896556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mythras_fire/pseuds/mythras_fire
Summary: What if Isobel hadn't arrived to cockblock Michael and Alex with her bagel delivery?





	Eat Your Heart Out, Boys

**Author's Note:**

> For Stormy!!! ♥
> 
> Inspired by a convo we had about a certain Instagram photo Tyler Blackburn posted earlier this week ;). Also, a chance for me to practice writing dialogue for Malex. So it's a win-win ^^
> 
> Disclaimer: All characters and pop-culture references belong to their respective creators.

~*~

"You sure you wanna do this?"

"I'm sure."

"Positive?"

"Positive."

"Absitively posilutely?"

"Yes, Tigger. Now get your super sexy ass over here and help me peel this old map off the window cuz I can't reach the upper corners, so we can get some proper backlighting in here."

"What old map?"

"The old map that was... um, ok, now that's strange, I could have sworn there was a map covering this window a minute ago."

"You sure you didn't hit your melon on the headboard last night, Private? I mean, I know I got a little carried away there, sorry not sorry, but I was – still am – just a wee bit excited. Ten years and all that."

"Yeps, damaged goods right here. And it's all your fault."

"With you, it usually is."

"I'm sure you'll find a way to make it up to me."

"I know of several hundred ways to make it go up, care to try any of them right now?"

"Y'know, I think it's a good thing we didn't end up at college together. You're horribly distracting."

"You're just noticing this, now?"

"Oh, fuck no. I noticed it ten years ago. I was just thinking about all the totally original excuses I could have given my professors for why my homework wasn't turned in."

"For example?"

"I'm sorry, Professor, I didn't turn in my paper because my boyfriend can't keep his hands off me and I found it difficult to type while he was pounding my ass so hard my head kept slamming into the headboard."

"Ah, see, so this could be an old injury then."

"Apparently so, yes. But seriously, wasn't there a... you know what, nevermind."

"Does that mean you're coming back to bed now? I saved a spot for you! It's all warm and comfy and ready for spooning."

"No! Stop being so distracting and come over here, Guerin. We only have a few minutes until the sun sets and I want to get as much light behind me as possible. Then with the spooning, yes."

"I'm not sure you want me to do that."

"And why's that?"

"If I'm distracting you from over here, covered by a bedsheet, what do you think's gonna happen when I'm over there, covered only by the hair on my chinny chin chin?"

"Why are you quoting all these nursery rhymes all of a sudden?"

"Why are you so adorable when you're frustrated?"

"I'm going to wipe that smirk right off your face, cowboy, if you don't stop laughing."

"Bring it on, Private."

"All right fine, I'll just take it myself."

"Ok ok ok. No need to go hopping around the place. There's too many things poking out that'll trip you up. Where do you want me?"

"Right now, over by the door. In a few minutes, covering every inch of me."

"Well hot dayum, now we're talkin'! Why didn't you say that at the get-go? Ok, let's DO this."

"Figures that all I needed to do was promise you my body to get you standing at attention."

"Well, we can't all be geniuses like me, but I'm glad you're finally catching on, young grasshopper. P.S. it's not your body that gets me hot. It's what's under the hood that really revs my engine. I wouldn't toss you out of bed for eating chips, though."

"You're doing it again, Guerin."

"Sorry, sorry, sheesh. Give a guy a break, will ya? It's not my fault I'm still in love with a peg-legged ~~pirate~~ , erm, I mean pilot."

"Uh-huh."

"Ok, where's your phone? There it is. I still don't know why you want to take a nudie shot that reminds me of the Coppertone Baby but in a grown-up coquettish kind of way, but hey, whatever, I'm just here to cater to your every whim."

"Aww, you say the sweetest things. This is to show all the people who were shit to me in high school that I'm still alive and kickin' and lookin' fine. And then we're gonna do one of you and those ridiculous curls. Then we're gonna use the hashtag #eat your heart out, boys. And then you're going to fuck me six ways to Sunday. Any questions?"

"Yeah, I got one. Who do you love more? Me or my curls? And be careful with your answer. One of us is a delicate flower."

"I love the giant dork who uses nursery rhymes for similes and does magic tricks literally behind my back and then tries to use that mesmerizingly hot mess of curls to distract me from whatever it was I was supposed to be doing. I love him more."

"Uh... good, good answer."

"Why, Michael, I do believe you're blushing!"

"Macho cowboys don't blush, Alex, they swagger."

"Oh my, well then, you must be coming down with the most acute case of sunset-burn I've ever seen. Maybe we should take you to see Dr. Val–"

"Ok, fine! I might blush. A little. And it's all your fault."

"With you, it usually is."

"I'm sure you'll find a way to make it up to me."

~*~


End file.
